36 Indeed Funny Quotes About Dating – Curated Quotes

Going on a date is pretty hilarious when you think about it.

It is a necessary tradition, but modern courtship has become a ridiculous little dance that includes apps and online profiles and “hooking up”.

Fortunately for us, the absurdity of dating has not slipped pass comedians and other witty minds. Here are some of the most hilarious dating quotes and one liners from the likes of Jerry Seinfeld and Groucho Marx.

What is a date indeed, but a job vraaggesprek that lasts all night? The only difference is that te not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked at the end of it. – Jerry Seinfield

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

I’ve bot on so many vensterluik dates, I should get a free dog. – Wendy Leibman

Recipes are like a dating service. They almost never end up looking like the picture. – Unknown

I’m a elementary woman, I like beautiful bearded black-haired boys and breakfast food. – Unknown

I’ll never join one of those online dating services. I choose to meet someone the old fashioned way. Through licor and poor judgement. – unknown

I deny to go out with a man whose caboose is smaller than mine. – Elizabeth Perkins

When supuesto reality gets cheaper than dating, society is fated. – Scott Adams

You everzwijn bot on a date so bad, the damsel makes you druppel hier off at another dude’s house? – Roy Wood Jr.

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. – Gary Shandling

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him. – Anonymous

I merienda dated a weather female, wij talked up a storm. – Jay London

One woman I wasgoed dating called and said, ‘Come on overheen, there’s nobody huis.’ I went overheen. Nobody wasgoed huis. – Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I want a indeed nice meal, I embark dating again. – Susan Healy

I date this chick for two years—and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’ – Mike Schrijfmap

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be te a bad marriage. – Laura Kightlinger

Benefits of dating mij: You will be dating mij. I could go on but I think I have made my point. – Unknown

I have such poor vision I can date anybody – Gary Shandling

I don’t make mistakes, I date them. – Unknown

Bisexuality instantly doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. – Woody Allen

Studs don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the very first date, we’re most likely not interested te witnessing them again either. – Chelsea Handler

I’d love to create a individual profile on a dating webpagina with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman. – Jarod Kintz

“Whenever I date a stud, I think, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” – Rita Rudner

It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table. – Barbara Streisand

People tell mij there is slew of fish te the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont date fish. – Unknown

My mom always complains about my lack of a bf. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell hier I’m dating two different guys — Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. – Michelle Landry

I’d rather straighten my pubes with a plane metal than go on another vensterluik date. – Stephanie McAfee

Employees make the best dates, you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible. – Andy Warhol

I had to feign rente te all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come overheen and sit on his face. I didn’t say that out noisy, of course. I never say the things I truly want to. If I did, I’d have no friends. – Chelsea Handler

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. Thesis dudes usually have jobs and bathe. – Rita Rudner

Reasons to date mij: I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to. – Amit Verma

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