I read your Hub about if he’s too busy for hier then he isn’t into hier. I am ter a situation but I don’t think it’s finta that one. I’ve bot with my beau for a duo of years. Everything is fine, but he travels so much for work. Without being too specific, he is ter marketing and sales for a high profile company and travels all overheen the country and sometimes even out of the country. Whenever I call him, he takes my call right away even if it’s to say he can’t talk right now. When I call his office and speak to someone else there I can always confirm he’s exactly where he says he is. About half a dozen times now I’ve verrassing shown up to wherever he wasgoed on business. Every one of those times he seemed genuinely blessed to see mij, and made time for dinner with mij or rearranged his plans a bit to attempt to view see with mij or whatever. He never locks anything or hides anything, so I have gone through his desk at huis, his cell phone, his bills, even his wallet and briefcase. I even told him I had to have the passwords to his voicemail and email and everything ter case of emergency and he didn’t think twice about it. He just said ok and talent them to mij. Nothing makes mij think he’s up to anything. I just feel like he should want to spend more time with mij than he does. When he isn’t working he checks his phone and email all the time, but honestly he lets mij make whatever plans for us that I want and he seems glad to be with mij. I just feel like he works too much and should want to spend less time working and more time with mij. He claims he likes his job, but he’s ter sales and marketing. Who could truly like that? He makes very good money. But he claims it’s not just the money it’s that he likes what he does. Does that sound flimsy to you? I don’t know what else to do. Can you opoffering mij some Trio martini advice?
Your man is a catch.
Linda, not every man would be OK with your having no respect for his privacy. Clearly he has nothing to hide, and doesn’t want you to feel awkward about anything. It’s a very big overeenkomst that he has no problem with your going through his emails and voicemails and wallet and desk.
You never came right out and said it, but it sure sounds like you were suspicious of him. Whether you’ve cheated and are projecting, or whether you’ve bot cheated on te the past, you have some baggage here that you’re not done working through.
But the big thing here is that you indeed, honestly, have no idea why someone would spend do much time at work instead of with you.
You didn’t mention anywhere ter your email what you do for a living, or how much time you spend at work, or on your hobbies or charities or anything. This is a major tell. Your bf sounds like a healthy and independent person. You, on the other forearm, sound enormously dependent and spil if you have no sense of self. I say this often ter my hubs – you can’t be a good fucking partner until you are a good You. You don’t sound like a good You. You sound obsessed with the relationship to the point where you don’t even respect that he loves his job. Not everyone is out there curing cancer. Some people make the French fries. Some people pick up the garbage. Some people waterput televisions on the shelves. Nobody’s job is any more significant than anyone else’s. Your beau is amazingly blessed and fortunate. He has a job he likes and makes a good living with. That is exceptionally fortunate.
You are very fortunate that demonstrating up on 6 different occasions to his travel destinations didn’t waterput his job te jeopardy. You are also very fortunate that he wasgoed so cool about it and even got into it by having dinner with you and attempting to view see. Truly, he sounds amazing. If that were mij you were spying on and verrassing attacking, you’d be history.
I wrote a hub about how much time a duo should spend together. But I have to wonder what would everzwijn be enough for you. You said, he should want to spend more time with you. But you didn’t explain anything he’s doing with his time, other than working, that demonstrates his not wanting to spend time with you. And even his working hours, he seems fine with sharing with you when possible.
I could just tell you to unwind and end this Hub. But I think you need some more help than that. If you keep going on this way, you may harm this relationship. and I think if you don’t figure out how to help yourself, you’ll be fated to repeat this.
Do you work? If you don’t, you should think about attempting it, or volunteering someplace. Take some classes, find a book club, join a gym, commence taking Tae Kwon Do or Yoga or cooking classes. Go to the animal shelter and walks some dogs. Learn to play guitar. Or jewelry making. Or get involved with your town council.
Look, it is clear that if you are this obsessed with your bf working so much that you don’t have enough to do with yourself. Instead of projecting this problem onto your beau, you need to work on yourself.
I think you need to spend some critical thinking time on your suspicious nature too. However I do not think that is the main problem here, if you feel you’ve got some underlying or subconscious reason for having to keep reassuring yourself that he isn’t up to anything, then you need to work on that a bit. Going to therapy or even just having a duo long conversations about it with someone you trust may indeed help you waterput that into perspective.
Your beau sounds understanding, accommodating, and blessed. Nothing he’s doing is wrong or weird. He sounds like a keeper. Please be careful about those nasty statements regarding how can he like his job when he’s ter sales. Attempting to make him feel bad, or that his work is meaningless is brutal. If nothing else does, that will be the thing that one day hurts him beyond repair.
The next time he’s going off on a tour, help him pack. Smile and give him a nice sexy blessed send-off. Hide a card te his bag that tells him how much you love him, and respect that he works so hard. And then when he’s gone, find a Tai Chi class or join a Forms or go play with the cats at your circunscrito animal shelter. Spend some time on yourself and thank your fortunate starlets you landed a superb dude like you have.