A selection of funny jokes about internet dating and all that can go wrong with internet dating.
The “risks” of online dating …
You: Large, hairy man. Your online gf: Large, hairy man.
Hier server rejects your e-mail not spil ‘undeliverable’ but spil ‘unlikely to get you anywhere.’
After months of collective practices and emotional investments, she attacks you te the Mines of Quarn with a +Five Vorpal Sword when she learns you’re worth 45,000 points.
‘Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again.’
Your cyber-lover is just too busy editing that bimbo little Top Five List.
Getting perhaps a bit too comfy, she lets a reference to cutting hier chin pruning slip by.
You detect that she has bot cutting & pasting hier orgasms.
You can slightly make out your lover’s face te the JPEG she sent because she’s obscured by hier 25 cats.
He claims to be the richest man ter the world, but his Vergif looks like some geek who works for a software company.
Since hier very first e-mail, Make.Money.Prompt! at cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
She’s all of a sudden switched hier address to comingout at sapphic.com
Kennen Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious ‘tubby at whitehouse.gov’
Ter an ironic twist of fate, you detect that the object of your affection is a curvy Legal year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she’d pretended to be.
Be careful for what you wish for …
Hopeful suitor joined a computer-dating webpagina and registered his wants.
He dreamed someone who loved water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and wasgoed very puny.
The rekentuig operated faultlessly.
It sent him a penguin.
Since light travels swifter than sound, is that why some people emerge bright until they speak?
I’m like poop. The older I get the lighter I am to pick up!
Coffee, Chocolate, and Dudes – some things are just better rich.
I believe ter dragons, good guys, and other fantasy creatures.
Willing to lie about how wij met!
Where’s “Clever Opening Lines for Dummies” When You Need It?
How many more frogs do I have to smooch to find my prince?
Love is a sweet wish and marriage is the noodsein clock.
Ready for the three stadionring circus: engagement stadionring, wedding stadionring, suffering.
Ladies are like phones. They like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected.
Tired of shopping the Bruised Goods department.
I’m the best singer te my car!
Looking for a man with a large bulge– ter his back right pocket.
Finding a good man is like poking Jello to a tree!
I’ll leap on Oprah’s couch for you!
What it truly means:
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No boobies
Promedio looking = Ugly, can only be loved by mommy
Beautiful = Pathological embalar, airhead
Contagious Smile = Does a lotsbestemming of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat, hates studs
Free Spirit = Junkie
Friendship very first = Former very “friendly” person
Fresh Age = Assets hair te the wrong places
Open Minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Noisy and Embarrassing
Sultry = Dirty Toasted
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large Framework = Hugely Fat
Needs soul mate = Stalker
Are computers masculine or female?
Te order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lotsbestemming of gegevens, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
Spil soon spil you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better monster.
No one but the diferente creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored te long-term memory for straks retrieval.
Spil soon spil you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The message, “Bad guideline or filename” , is about spil informative spil “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.”