How to interpret Woman-Speak
If you have bot paying attention to the previous вЂњAdvice to YouthвЂњ lessons my pimple faced youthful man, you are now ready for your next lesson and that is вЂњHow to interpret Woman-SpeakвЂќ.
The daughter of a friend of mine looks like a prototype, meaning tall, snugger and beautiful, and at age 24 she obtained a doctorate ter mathematics. So, she is an unusual combination of brains and beauty and this beautiful female has recently got married to a nice boy she met on the Internet. I mention this because if a lovely, slim woman like that will seek hier future mate on the Internet instead of amongst the many youthful guys vying for hier attention ter person, meeting women on the Internet shows up to be the way of the future.
It is therefore possible that even a worthless, clumsy klutz like you might also very well meet his future wifey on the Internet and, spil you can appreciate, a chump like you will need all the help he can get if he is to have any sort of chance to make the onberispelijk choice and to sustain.
A dear friend of mine has recently sent mij the work of an anonymous fellow teacher and philosopher and because the Den Greeks are not too proud to plagiarise when the author is chump enough to spread his work unsigned, I shall use the relevant material to illustrate a number of pitfalls that might await you.
Dictionary of Women’s Individual Ads
If a woman says she is вЂњ40-ishвЂќ, you can cosily make a sizable bet that she is 49 and if she is also вЂњadventurousвЂќ, then she is a 49 year old biotch who has slept with everyone. If you are one of those unusual dudes who like women with sizable breasts вЂњathleticвЂќ will be a frustration to you, spil it is Woman-Speak for вЂњNo titsвЂќ.
You would do well to look on the voorkoop of вЂњmedia lookingвЂќ with some measure of reservation because it actually means вЂњdownright uglyвЂќ, which is fine if your standards are ter that way inclined.
A вЂњbeautifulвЂќ woman is very likely a pathological rebujar and if combined with вЂњContagious SmileвЂќ then she is a pathological ligar who does a loterijlot of pills. Strong prescription medicine is also the case of women who are вЂњEmotionally SecureвЂќ, so do be aware because the cost of modern medicine can be prohibitive.
A вЂњFeministвЂќ tends to indicate a woman who likes to buy hier chocolate by the crateful and consequently if you do not mind a few toegevoegd pounds she will do just fine, but be warned that вЂњVoluptuousвЂќ is undoubtedly ter the heavyweight category and вЂњLarge FrameworkвЂќ means that she has to pay for two seats on an airplane when visiting mommy ter Appalachia.
A вЂњFree SpiritвЂќ would tend to indicate a junkie and if this is combined with вЂњOutgoingвЂќ wij may be speaking of a noisy and embarrassing junkie.
An вЂњOpen MindedвЂќ candidate is likely to be fairly desperate. If she is also вЂњSultryвЂќ a desperate, dirty tipsy individual is likely to be the person you will meet at your very first meeting at the restringido Starbucks.
Beware of women advertising themselves spil вЂњjoyвЂќ, spil they are very likely to be fairly annoying and if вЂњFresh AgeвЂќ do not go to a meeting with one, unless you like women who have figure hair ter all the wrong places.
If she is вЂњProfessionalвЂќ she is likely to beвЂ¦. But no, I shall let you work that out for yourself.
Your Very first Meeting
Make sure that when you meet your possible future mate, you do so ter a public place, with lots of other people around, so there is no possibility of some nutcase accusing you of sapo marino.
According to the above mentioned philosopher, a latest scientific explore found that women find different masculine faces attractive depending on where they are te their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will choose a man with rugged, masculine features. However, when she is menstruating, she evidently chooses a man doused ter petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck ter his eye and a baseball bat shoved up his backside. This is not my own position, but I thought it advisable to pass the information on.
Women have a different interpretation of the English language than wij do, so you would do well to learn the following translation of Woman-Speak by heart:
Four. Wij need = I want
Five. I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6. Wij need to talk = You are te trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this straks
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
Ten. You are very attentive tonight = Is hook-up all you think about?
Te fairness to the fair hook-up tho’, wij should acknowledge that wij also have our own way of communication, which women would do well to learn for the sake of peace and harmony ter the huis.
1. I am greedy = I am greedy
Two. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
Trio. I am tired = I am tired
Four. Nice dress = Nice cleavage
Five. I love you = Let’s have hookup now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have hook-up?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have hookup with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have hook-up with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have hook-up with you
Ten. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have hookup with you
11. Those boots don’t go with that uitrusting = I am gay
Learn this well, you poor fish, if you do not want to be te the news for all the wrong reasons.